When You're Not Strong
by piccolina789
Summary: And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on. How Nick helped Sara through the time between "The Happy Place" and "One to Go". Spoilers for season 9. NickSara friendship, GSR
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So these are correspondences to and from Nick and Sara between 9-2 "The Happy Place" and 9-10 "One to Go". Spoilers for those episodes if you haven't seen them yet.**

**The chapters are short, cause the letters are short, but updates will be quick and regular if people like it. Sooo let me know! :)**

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To: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes)_

From: (Sara Sidle)

_11:09 p.m._

Nicky,

I've written four drafts of this e-mail already. It's crazy that I don't know what to say, knowing you all these years. I guess it's the way I left.

I'm sorry I left again. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, Nick. I wanted to. I did. I just… couldn't. I hope you can understand, and I hope that you can forgive me.

I miss you. A lot. I think about you guys all the time, and it always makes me smile. Remember when you would play country music on the way to scenes, and I would threaten your life? I find myself humming those songs in my head now, just to think of you.

I want to keep in touch, Nicky. I do. I want to know everything I'm missing. I hope you know that I love you like a brother, and I miss you more than you know.

As for me, I'm okay. Don't worry about me.

Love,

Sara


	2. Chapter 2

_To: (Sara Sidle) _

_From: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes) _

_8:34 a.m. _

Sara,

Thank God. I'm so glad you wrote me. Sara, I don't blame you for anything and I'm not angry or upset. I'm just worried, and I miss you.

The lab's not the same, Sara. It never was, not without you. Where are you? When are you coming back?

Grissom… he's not the same either. Losing Warrick… losing you… it's tearing him apart. Have you heard from him?

Stay safe, Sara. I miss you.

Nick x


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Still postin'... maybe this wasn't as good of an idea as I thought, LOL **

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To: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes)_

_From: (Sara Sidle) _

_12: 52 p.m. _

Nick, Nick. You didn't tell me one thing about what's going on with you. I want to know, Nick. It makes me feel like I'm not a thousand miles away. How's Catherine dealing with… what happened? How's Greg? Tell him I say hi, and I miss him.

As for where I am, you'll never believe it Nick. I joined a research team, we're in the middle of the ocean, nearing the Galapagos Islands. How we get internet connection here, I'll never know, but I get just enough bars to send you a note. It's been great, Nick. It's clearing my head. I needed this trip.

I haven't heard from Grissom. I expect he's busy. To be fair, I haven't contacted him either. I guess… you can't push what's not meant to be, right?

Someone was playing Elvis last night. Remember that case we worked at the wedding chapel? The guy thought we were married… as if I'd ever be in your league.

Miss you.

Love,

Sara

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_To: (Sara Sidle) _

_From: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes)_

_9:56 p.m._

Sara,

I'm writing from work. Shh, don't tell! Greg is here, babbling incessantly. How that kid passed his proficiency, I'll never know. He says he misses you too. He does, Sara. We all do.

Catherine's doing well, she's working through it. Doing the best she can. She's tough, just like you. I miss your tenacity around here. We could use a little Sidle uumph lately.

The league crack… not even going there, sweetheart.

I've been… good. We got a new CSI, Riley. I like her well enough, but she's not you.

Sara, I don't know what to say about Grissom. I can see he's hurting. I don't know why he's pushing himself to stay so far away from you. He needs you. Maybe… maybe you should e-mail him. I think hearing from you could do him some good.

Take care, Sara.

Nick x


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I think this is going to be six chapters total. Toldya it was short :) Thanks for the feedback, I was wondering if people were liking this or not. **

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_To: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes)_

_From: SSidle (Sara Sidle) _

_9:01 a.m._

Nicky,

I just sent something to Grissom. I'm freaking out.

I know you probably just got home, but if you get this… can you get online?

S xx

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_TexasCharm (9:02 a.m.): _Sara?

_ SSidle (9:02 a.m.): _Nick, thank god.

_TexasCharm (9:03 a.m.): _What's up, what happened?

_ SSidle (9:03 a.m.): _I… I sent an e-mail to Grissom, like you said.

_TexasCharm (9:03 a.m.): _Good! And?

_TexasCharm (9:05 a.m.): _Sara?

_ SSidle (9:06 a.m.): _I let him go, Nick.

_TexasCharm (9:06 a.m.): _Wow. Sara, I don't know what to say.

_ SSidle (9:07 a.m.): _It's… it's this trip. It's opened my eyes. I can't hang on forever, and I can't keep waiting for him to decide.

_TexasCharm (9:08 a.m.): _Darlin'… are you sure?

_ SSidle (9:08 a.m.): _Yes.

_ SSidle (9:08 a.m.): _No.

_ SSidle (9:08 a.m.): _I don't know. I told him, and I'll tell you. It might just be better this way.

_TexasCharm (9:09 a.m.): _Honey, did you want him to come after you? That first time you left?

_ SSidle (9:09 a.m.): _I don't know what I wanted, Nicky. I think a part of me really wanted to think he'd come for me. But… I needed that time. I needed space. I couldn't breathe.

_TexasCharm (9:09 a.m.): _I know, darlin'.

_SSidle (9:10 a.m.): _Not to sound melodramatic, but I guess… this is it. I mean, I guess he already made his decision, but now I'm… letting him.

_TexasCharm (9:10 a.m.): _Sara, I know you're traveling but… why don't you come back to Vegas for a while? Talk this out with him, face to face?

_ SSidle (9:11 a.m.): _I can't go back, Nick. Not now.

_TexasCharm (9:11 a.m.): _Not ever?

_ SSidle (9:12 a.m.): _If this is how it's going to be… it'll hurt too much.

_TexasCharm (9:12 a.m.): _What about me? And Greg? And Catherine? We miss you too much.

_ SSidle (9:13 a.m.): _I miss you too, Nicky. I really do. But I just… I don't think I can do it. If I'm letting go, I've got to really let go. I don't like this any more than you do.

_TexasCharm (9:14 a.m.): _Sara… I just want to tell you, I'm really proud of you. For everything. I'm honored to know you. You're the strongest girl I know.

_TexasCharm (9:17 a.m.): _Sara?

_TexasCharm (9:19 a.m.): _Are you still there?

_SSidle ( 9:20 a.m.): _Thank you, Nicky. For everything. Take care of yourself, okay? I'll talk to you soon.

_SSidle has signed off._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Second to last chapter!**

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To: SSidle (Sara Sidle) _

_From: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes) _

_3:08 p.m._

Sara,

Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in nearly two weeks.

I'm worried about you, Sara. Please let me know you're okay.

Nick x

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_To: SSidle (Sara Sidle) _

_From: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes) _

_10:39 a.m_

I'm the best excuse maker in the world. Seriously, you should hear some of the stuff I've come up with lately.

I started out with the normal 'maybe her internet connection's bad' or 'maybe she's just super busy'. It's progressed to 'well, what if the boat hit a reef and her computer fell overboard?' and 'maybe some criminal is posing as a professor on board and is secretly hijacking everyone's computers at night?' Really, I've had some golden ones.

The imagination's a funny thing, though. You know what our job does to it. And mine's been going crazy lately, imagining all sorts of things that aren't good, each one worse than the last.

Put my mind and imagination at ease, Sara. Just let me know you're okay. You don't need to tell me anything else.

Be safe.

Nick x

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_To: SSidle (Sara Sidle) _

_From: dontMESSwithTEXAS (Nick Stokes) _

_4:15 p.m. _

There's been a… development… at the lab.

You should hear it from Grissom himself.

Call him, Sara.

Nick x


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Last chapter! I broke away from the e-mail style for this part, I think you'll see why. Thanks to everyone that's read, and especially to those who have reviewed. I really appreciate it! Enjoy :)**

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Ding.

Rushing to his computer, like it seemed he'd been doing for weeks, Nick's heart was nearly pounding out of his chest with anticipation. It had to be… this time…

_ Mr. Stokes, _

_ Congratulations! You have been selected for a free trip to Cancun! We would like-_

Nick clicked out of the e-mail, punching the mouse entirely too hard, in disappointment. It had now been over a month since he had last heard from Sara. He checked with Greg and Catherine, too. Nothing.

He knew she was tough. He knew she was probably okay. But that didn't stop him from worrying…

Did she know Grissom left? Did she know where he was going? He sure didn't. Greg had no clue. Catherine said she didn't know, but had been a weird quirk to her mouth when she had said it…

_Riiing!_

Still at the desk chair, Nick's eyes darted automatically towards his inbox. Nothing. Then what…?

_Riiing!_

"Damnit," Nick swore under his breath, rushing into his bedroom to fetch his buzzing phone and flipping it open. "Stokes."

"Nick."

"Sara?"

Nick's eyebrows were halfway up his forehead, his mouth opened slightly in awe.

"Hi," came the soft, almost timid response.

"Hi," he breathed. "Thank God, Sara, are you okay? Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine, Nick, I promise," Sara responded. "I'm so sorry."

"You had me worried sick, woman!" Nick said, partly upset, partly relieved.

"I know, I'm so, so sorry," she repeated. "Nick, I… I couldn't… it was stupid, but I tried cutting myself off… it just made it worse…"

"Sara, Grissom left."

"I know."

Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

"You… you do?"

Nick's brows had now furrowed down on his forehead. He hadn't expected that.

"Yeah," Sara said. "He… he's here."

"He… what?"

"He's here," Sara repeated softly. "In Costa Rica. I… had no idea. He got here yesterday."

Nick fell onto his living room couch in amazement.

"So… you two…"

"Yeah."

Nick closed his eyes in relief.

"About time."

He heard Sara's soft laugh on the other line, and he realized how happy he was that she, too, was finally happy.

"Sara, tell him if he ever does something like that to you again, I'll personally punch him in the face," Nick said, a smile creeping on his face. "He's my boss no longer, I'm not holding anything back."

Sara laughed again.

"Will do, Nick," she said. "Hey, I… I wanted to tell you something."

"Shoot."

"We're, uh… we're getting married," Sara stuttered.

"You're… _married? _Are you kidding me?"

"No," Sara giggled. "We're going to have it here… something really small. But I… I wanted to tell you first."

"Congratulations, Sara," Nick breathed, hoping she was done with surprises for today. He couldn't handle many more. "I am so happy for you. Both of you. Tell the big man congrats for me."

"Hey, Nick?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"For what, darlin'?"

"For everything," Sara said, her voice soft again. "I couldn't have gotten through… anything… without you."

Nick smiled into the receiver.

"You're welcome, darlin'," he said.

"We'll visit soon, I promise."

"I'm holding you to that," Nick responded. "And no more disappearing acts, okay?"

"Cross my heart. Bye, Nick."

"Bye, Sara."

Nick disconnected and sat in silence for over an hour, smiling, and staring at his phone.

Finally.

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Thoughts? :)**


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